Graduated F.r.i.e.n.d.s.

01:10, 200910

Once again, another one of my friend has graduated. I'm very happy for them, but I'm utterly dissappointed in myself. Truth be told, if I had done properly and not be distracted in life, I would have graduated 2 years earlier from them. But instead, I've wasted too much time. And as they say, time is of the essence.

I felt like a loser and I'm so hurt.
Each time I see another graduating, I feel like an inch closer to giving up. First look, I shut it down. then when I tried to compose myself together, I'd re-opened the image, smiled at the joyfulness in their eyes and congratulated them. The only fear in me right now, is the age. Similar to the saying, it's never too late. I'll admit I'd depended on it for awhile. But after every heartbreak of seeing them wearing the square hat and the big blue clothes, I really couldn't take it anymore.
It's been so long. But only now I've come to my senses and realized that my mum had been right all these while.

Why? Why now??

I've asked myself since the huge failure. I'm scared as hell. But I've got to tell myslef that degrading oneself isn't going to help at all. Ink fact, it's just wasting more precious time.
The stress of people asking me when I'll be done, is upsetting. But, if tomorrow I'd have a better chance of surviving, I would want to prove that I, could do much better.

Because I want to. And I know I can.

All I had ot have was faith, love and bliss from the people who has got my back, through thick and thin togethe, and brought me up in an area thathg welcomes the growth, fear and endurance, discipline and self-respect that we as individuals have, in unison.

I really hope that I'd have a better opportunity here, and the success never stops, while love is still around.

To my...

- Family : 'I would like to first and foremost, apologize for the pain that I've caused, the faith that I'd failed to appreciate and the respect that I'd left behind. I wish to get all of these back and a request that I'd like to seek from your heart. Lead me to the right path in achieving my possibilities with your believe. Again, I'm very sorry. And I would like to be given another chance. As with this, I would gratefully like to produce a better result, in all the good that you know off in my life.

- Boyfriend, Suhaimi : You are the other piece of puzzle that have completed my family tree. I hope you can be the one my family has faith in.

To conclude, I appreciate the discipline, humbleness and love that I've been taught and given. It's all a blessing and thank Allah, for all of you.

With all my love,
as a daughter, sister, girlfriend.